[2.] In particular. They daily weigh all their
particular actions in the balance, and find them wanting, as to
any such completeness as, upon their own account, to be accepted with God.
“Oh!” says a saint, “if I had nothing to commend me unto God but this
prayer, this duty, this conquest of a temptation, wherein I myself see so
many failings, so much imperfection, could I appear with any boldness
before him? Shall I, then, piece up a garment of righteousness out of my
best duties? Ah! it is all as a defiled cloth,” Isa. lxiv.
6. These thoughts accompany them in all their duties, in their
best and most choice performances:— “Lord, what am I in my best estate?
How little suitableness unto thy holiness is in my best duties! O spare
me, in reference to the best thing that ever I did in my life!” Neh. xiii. 22. When a man who lives
upon convictions hath got some enlargements in duties, some conquest over a
sin or temptation, he hugs himself, like Micah when he had got a Levite to
be his priest: now surely it shall be well with him, now God will bless
him: his heart is now at ease; he hath peace in what he hath done. But he
who hath communion with Christ, when he is highest in duties of
sanctification and holiness, is clearest in the apprehension of his own
unprofitableness, and rejects every thought that might arise in his
heart of setting his peace in them, or upon them. He says to his soul, “Do
these things seem something to thee? Alas! thou hast to do with an
infinitely righteous God, who looks through and through all that vanity,
which thou art but little acquainted withal; and should he deal with thee
according to thy best works, thou must perish.”