112.  On this account I had much toilsome consideration to discover my duty, being set in the midst betwixt two fears, of which the one held me back, the other urged me on.  For a long while I was at a loss between them, and after wavering from side to side, and, like a current driven by inconstant winds, inclining first in this direction, then in that, I at last yielded to the stronger, and the fear of disobedience overcame me, and has carried me off.  Pray, mark how accurately and justly I hold the balance between the fears, neither desiring an office not given to me, nor rejecting it when given.  The one course marks the rash, the other the disobedient, both the undisciplined.  My position lies between those who are too bold, or too timid; more timid than those who rush at every position, more bold than those who avoid them all.  This is my judgment on the matter.