1.  I remember our old conversations with one another, and am forgetful neither of what I said, nor of what you said.  And now public life has no hold upon me.  For although I am the same in heart and have not yet put off the old man, nevertheless, outwardly and by withdrawing myself far from worldly life, I seem already to have begun to tread the way of Christian conversation.  I sit apart, like men who are on the point of embarking on the deep, looking out at what is before me.  Mariners, indeed, need winds to make their voyage prosperous; I on the other hand want a guide to take me by the hand and conduct me safely through life’s bitter waves.  I feel that I need first a curb for my young manhood, and then pricks to drive me to the course of piety.  Both these seem to be provided by reason, which at one time disciplines my unruliness of soul, and at another time my sluggishness.  Again I want other remedies that I may wash off the impurity of habit.  You know how, long accustomed as I was to the Forum, I am lavish of words, and do not guard myself against the thoughts put into my mind by the evil one.  I am the servant too of honour, and cannot easily give up thinking great things of myself.  Against all this I feel that I need a great instructor.  Then, further, I conclude that it is of no small importance, nor of benefit only for a little while, that the soul’s eye should be so purged that, after being freed from all the darkness of ignorance, as though from some blinding humour, one can gaze intently on the beauty of the glory of God.  All this I know very well that your wisdom is aware of; I know that you would wish that I might have some one to give me such help, and if ever God grant me to meet you I am sure that I shall learn more about what I ought to heed.  For now, in my great ignorance, I can hardly even form a judgment as to what I lack.  Yet I do not repent of my first impulse; my soul does not hang back from the purpose of a godly life as you have feared for me, nobly and becomingly doing everything in your power, lest, like the woman of whom I have heard the story, I should turn back and become a pillar of salt. cf. Gen. xix. 26.  I am still, however, under the restraint of external authority; for the magistrates are seeking me like a deserter.  But I am chiefly influenced by my own heart, which testifies to itself of all that I have told you.