3. And yet, though I could not tax with folly and
uselessness this counsel of theirs to keep the soul free from blame,
and evade by foresight or elude by skill or endure with patience the
troubles of life, still I could not regard these men as guides
competent to lead me to the good and happy Life. Their precepts
were platitudes, on the mere level of human impulse; animal instinct
could not fail to comprehend them, and he who understood but disobeyed
would have fallen into an insanity baser than animal unreason.
Moreover, my soul was eager not merely to do the things, neglect of
which brings shame and suffering, but to know the God and Father Who
had given this great gift, to Whom, it felt, it owed its whole self,
Whose service was its true honour, on Whom all its hopes were fixed, in
Whose lovingkindness, as in a safe home and haven, it could rest amid
all the troubles of this anxious life. It was inflamed with a
passionate desire to apprehend Him or to know Him.