Chapter XVII.—God Cannot Be
Attained Unto by the Power of Memory, Which Beasts and Birds
Possess.
26. Great is the power of memory; very wonderful is
it, O my God, a profound and infinite manifoldness; and this thing
is the mind, and this I myself am. What then am I, O my God? Of
what nature am I? A life various and manifold, and exceeding vast.
Behold, in the numberless fields, and caves, and caverns of my
memory, full without number of numberless kinds of things, either
through images, as all bodies are; or by the presence of the things
themselves, as are the arts; or by some notion or observation, as
the affections of the mind are, which, even though the mind doth
not suffer, the memory retains, while whatsoever is in the memory
is also in the mind: through all these do I run to and fro, and
fly; I penetrate on this side and that, as far as I am able, and
nowhere is there an end. So great is the power of memory, so great
the power of life in man, whose life is mortal. What then shall I
do, O Thou my true life, my God? I will pass even beyond this power
of mine which is called memory—I will pass beyond it, that I may
proceed to Thee, O Thou sweet Light. What sayest Thou to me?
Behold, I am soaring by my mind towards Thee who remainest above
me. I will also pass beyond this power of mine which is called
memory, wishful to reach Thee whence Thou canst be reached, and to
cleave unto Thee whence it is possible to cleave unto Thee. For
even beasts and birds possess memory, else could they never find
their lairs and nests again, nor many other things to which they
are used; neither indeed could they become used to anything, but by
their memory. I will pass, then, beyond memory also, that I may
reach Him who has separated me from the four-footed beasts and the
fowls of the air, making me wiser than they. I will pass beyond
memory also, but where shall I find Thee, O Thou truly good and
assured sweetness? But where shall I find Thee? If I find Thee
without memory, then am I unmindful of Thee. And how now shall I
find Thee, if I do not remember Thee?