198 Homily IV. Philippians i. 22–26 “Then what I shall choose I wot not. But I am in a strait betwixt the two, having the desire to depart and be with Christ; which is very far better: yet to abide in the flesh is more needful for your sake. And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide, yea and abide with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith; that your glorying may abound in Jesus Christ in me, through my presence with you again.” Nothing can be more blessed than the spirit of Paul, for the reason that nothing is more noble. We all shudder at death, I am wont to say, some by reason of our many sins, of whom I too am one, others from love of life, and cowardice, of whom may I never be one; for they who are subject to this fear are mere animals. This then, which we all shudder at, he prayed for, and hasted toward Him; saying, “To depart is very far better.” What sayest thou? when thou art about to change from earth to heaven, and to be with Christ, dost thou not know what to choose? Nay, far is this from the spirit of Paul; for if such an offer were made to any one on sure grounds, would he not straightway seize it? Yes, for as it is not ours “to depart and be with Christ,” neither, if we were able to attain to this, were it ours to remain here. Both are of Paul, and of his spirit. He was confidently persuaded. What? Art thou about to be with Christ? and dost thou say, “What I shall choose I wot not”? and not this only, but dost thou choose that which is here, “to abide in the flesh”? What in the world? didst thou not live an exceeding bitter life, in “watchings,” in shipwrecks, in “hunger and thirst,” and “nakedness,” in cares and anxiety? “with the weak” thou wert “weak,” and for those who “were made to stumble” thou dost “burn.” (2 Cor. xi. 23, 29.) “In much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in fastings, in pureness.” (2 Cor. vi. 5, 6.) “Five times” didst thou “receive forty stripes save one,” “thrice” wast thou “beaten with rods, once” wast thou “stoned” “a night and a day” thou hast “been in the deep, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils among false brethren.” (2 Cor. xi. 24–26.) Didst thou not, when the whole nation of the Galatians returned to the observance of the law, didst thou not cry aloud, and say, “Whosoever of you would be justified by the law, ye are fallen away from grace”? (Gal. v. 4.) How great was then thy grief, and still dost thou desire this perishing life? Had none of these things befallen thee, but had thy success, wherever success attended thee, been without fear, and full of delight, yet shouldest not thou hasten to some harbor, from fear of the un- certain future? For tell me, what trader, whose vessel is full of untold wealth, when he may run into port, and be at rest, would prefer to be still at sea? what wrestler, when he might be crowned, would prefer to contend? what boxer, when he might put on his crown, would choose to enter afresh into the contest, and offer his head to wounds? what general is there, who when he might be quit of war with good report, and trophies, and might with the king refresh himself in the palace, would choose still to toil, and to stand in battle array? How Philippians 1:22-26 352 Philippians 1:22-26