Chapter 3.—That
When the Mind Loves Itself, It is Not Unknown to Itself.
5. What, then, does the mind love,
when it seeks ardently to know itself, whilst it is still unknown
to itself? For, behold, the mind seeks to know itself, and is
excited thereto by studious zeal. It loves, therefore; but what
does it love? Is it itself? But how can this be when it does not
yet know itself, and no one can love what he does not know? Is it
that report has declared to it its own species, in like way as we
commonly hear of people who are absent? Perhaps, then, it does not
love itself, but loves that which it imagines of itself, which is
perhaps widely different from what itself is: or if the phantasy in
the mind is like the mind itself, and
so when it loves this
fancied image, it loves itself before it knew itself, because it
gazes upon that which is like itself; then it knew other minds from
which to picture itself, and so is known to itself generically.
Why, then, when it knows other minds, does it not know itself,
since nothing can possibly be more present to it than itself? But
if, as other eyes are more known to the eyes of the body, than
those eyes are to themselves; then let it not seek itself, because
it never will find itself. For eyes can never see themselves except
in looking-glasses; and it cannot be supposed in any way that
anything of that kind can be applied also to the contemplation of
incorporeal things, so that the mind should know itself, as it
were, in a looking-glass. Or does it see in the reason of eternal
truth how beautiful it is to know one’s self, and so loves this
which it sees, and studies to bring it to pass in itself? because,
although it is not known to itself, yet it is known to it how good
it is, that it should be known to itself. And this, indeed, is very
wonderful, that it does not yet know itself, and yet knows already
how excellent a thing it is to know itself. Or does it see some
most excellent end,
viz
. its own serenity and blessedness,
by some hidden remembrance, which has not abandoned it, although it
has gone far onwards, and believes that it cannot attain to that
same end unless it know itself? And so while it loves that, it
seeks this; and loves that which is known, on account of which it
seeks that which is unknown. But why should the remembrance of its
own blessedness be able to last, and the remembrance of itself not
be able to last as well; that so it should know itself which wishes
to attain, as well as know that to which it wishes to attain? Or
when it loves to know itself, does it love, not itself, which it
does not yet know, but the very act of knowing; and feel the more
annoyed that itself is wanting to its own knowledge wherewith it
wishes to embrace all things? And it knows what it is to know; and
whilst it loves this, which it knows, desires also to know itself.
Whereby, then, does it know its own knowing, if it does not know
itself? For it knows that it knows other things, but that it does
not know itself; for it is from hence that it knows also what
knowing is. In what way, then, does that which does not know
itself, know itself as knowing anything? For it does not know that
some other mind knows, but that itself does so. Therefore it knows
itself. Further, when it seeks to know itself, it knows itself now
as seeking. Therefore again it knows itself. And hence it cannot
altogether not know itself, when certainly it does so far know
itself as that it knows itself as not knowing itself. But if it
does not know itself not to know itself, then it does not seek to
know itself. And therefore, in the very fact that it seeks itself,
it is clearly convicted of being more known to itself than unknown.
For it knows itself as seeking and as not knowing itself, in that
it seeks to know itself.