99. And since we have said that we must aim
at the observance of what is seemly, Cic. de Off.
I. 37. so as to know
what is the due measure in our words and deeds, and as order in speech
rather than in action comes first; speech is divided into two
kinds: first, as it is used in friendly conversation, and then in
the treatment and discussion of matters of faith and justice. In
either case we must take care that there is no irritation. Our
language should be mild and quiet, and full of kindness and courtesy
and free from insult. Let there be no obstinate disputes in our
familiar conversations, for they are wont
only to bring up useless subjects, rather than
to supply anything useful. Let there be discussion without wrath,
urbanity without bitterness, warning without sharpness, advice without
giving offence. And as in every action of our life we ought to
take heed to this, in order that no overpowering impulse of our mind
may ever shut out reason (let us always keep a place for counsel), so,
too, ought we to observe that rule in our language, so that neither
wrath nor hatred may be aroused, and that we may not show any signs of
our greed or sloth.