42. But this need is not the case of all, Lord
Jesus; it is not so with me, who am profitable to none; for to me death
is a gain, that I may sin no more. To die is gain to me, who, in
the very treatise in which I comfort others, am incited as it were by
an intense impulse to the longing for my lost brother, since it suffers
me not to forget him. Now I love him more, and long for him more
intensely. I long for him when I speak, I long for him when I
read again what I have written, and I think that I am more impelled to
write this, that I may not ever be without the recollection of
him. And in this I am not acting contrary to Scripture, but I am
of the same mind with Scripture, that I may grieve with more patience,
and long with greater intensity.