88. And what advice shall I give to you who have
children? What reason have you for marrying? Perhaps
foolish light-mindedness, or the habit of incontinence, or the
consciousness of a wounded spirit is urging you on. But counsel
is given to the sober, not to the drunken, and so my words are
addressed to the free conscience which is whole in each respect.
She that is wounded has a remedy, she that is upright a counsel.
What do you intend to do then, my daughter? Why do you seek for
heirs from without when you have your own? You are not desiring
of children, for you have them, but servitude from which you are
free. For this true servitude, in which love is exhausted, which
no longer the charm of virginity, and early youth, full of holy modesty
and grace, excites; when offences are more felt, and rudeness is more
suspected, and agreement less common, which is not bound fast by love
deeply rooted by time, or by beauty in its prime of youth. Duty
to a husband is burdensome, so that you are afraid to love your
children and blush to look at them; and a cause of disagreement arises
from that which ordinarily causes mutual love to increase the tender
affections of parents. You wish to give birth to offspring who
will be not the
brothers but the
adversaries of your children. For what is to bring forth other
children other than to rob the children which you have, who are
deprived alike of the offices of affection and of the profit of their
possessions.