Chapter XXVII.
How the married and the single are to be admonished.
(
Admonition
28.) Differently to be
admonished are those who are bound in wedlock and those who are free
from the ties of wedlock. For those who are bound in wedlock are
to be admonished that, while they take thought for each other’s
good, they study, both of them, so to please their consorts as not to
displease their Maker; that they so conduct the things that are of this
world as still not to omit desiring the things that are of
God
; that they so rejoice in present good as still, with
earnest solicitude, to fear eternal evil; that they so sorrow for
temporal evils as still to fix their hope with entire comfort on
everlasting good; to the end that, while they know what they are
engaged in to be transitory, but what they desire to be permanent,
neither the evils of the world may break their heart while it is
strengthened by the hope of heavenly good, nor the good things of the
present life deceive them, while they are saddened by the apprehended
evils of the judgment to come. Wherefore the mind of married
Christians is both weak and stedfast, in that it cannot fully despise
all temporal things, and yet can join itself in desire to eternal
things. Although it lies low meanwhile in the delights of the
flesh, let it grow strong in the refreshment of supernal hope:
and, if it has the things that are of the world for the service of its
journey, let it hope for the things that are of
God
for the fruit of its journey’s end: nor
let it devote itself entirely to what it is engaged in now, lest it
fall utterly from what it ought stedfastly to hope for. Which
thing Paul well expresses briefly, saying,
They that have wives as
though they had none, and they that weep as though they wept not, and
they that rejoice as though they rejoiced not
(
1 Cor. vii. 29, 30
). For he has a wife as
though he had none who so enjoys carnal consolation through her as
still never to be turned by love of her to evil deeds from the
rectitude of a better aim. He has a wife as though he had none
who, seeing all things to be transitory, endures of necessity the care
of the flesh, but looks forward with longing to the eternal joys of the
spirit. Moreover, to weep as though we wept not is so to lament
outward adversities as still to know how to rejoice in the consolation
of eternal hope. And again, to rejoice as though we rejoiced not
is so to take heart from things below as still never to cease from fear
concerning the things above. In the same place also a little
afterwards he aptly adds,
For the fashion of this world passeth
away
(
v. 31
);
as if he had said plainly, Love not the world abidingly, since the
world which ye love cannot itself abide. In vain ye fix your
affections on it as though it were continuing, while that which ye love
itself is fleeting. Husbands and wives are to be admonished, that
those
things wherein they
sometimes displease one another they bear with mutual patience, and by
mutual exhortations remedy.
For it is written, Bear ye one
another’s burdens, and so ye shall fulfil the law of Christ
(
Galat. vi.
2
). For the law of
Christ is Charity; since it has from Him bountifully bestowed on us its
good things, and has patiently borne our evil things. We,
therefore, then fulfil by imitation the law of Christ, when we both
kindly bestow our good things, and piously endure the evil things of
our friends. They are also to be admonished to give heed, each of
them, not so much to what they have to bear from the other as to what
the other has to bear from them. For, if one considers what is
borne from one’s self, one bears more lightly what one endures
from another.
Husbands and wives are to be admonished to
remember that they are joined together for the sake of producing
offspring; and, when, giving themselves to immoderate intercourse, they
transfer the occasion of procreation to the service of pleasure, to
consider that, though they go not outside wedlock yet in wedlock itself
they exceed the just dues of wedlock. Whence it is needful that
by frequent supplications they do away their having fouled with the
admixture of pleasure the fair form of conjugal union. For hence
it is that the Apostle, skilled in heavenly medicine, did not so much
lay down a course of life for the whole as point out remedies to the
weak when he said,
It is good for a man not to touch a woman:
but on account of fornication let every man have his own wife, and let
every woman have her own husband
(
1 Cor. vii. 1, 2
). For in that he premised
the fear of fornication, he surely did not give a precept to such as
were standing, but pointed out the bed to such as were falling, lest
haply they should tumble to the ground. Whence to such as were
still weak he added,
Let the husband render unto the wife her due;
and likewise also the wife unto the husband
(
v.
3
). And, while in
the most honourable estate of matrimony allowing to them something of
pleasure, he added,
But this I say by way of indulgence, not by way
of command
(
v. 6
). Now where indulgence is
spoken of, a fault is implied; but one that is the more readily
remitted in that it consists, not in doing what is unlawful, but in not
keeping what is lawful under control. Which thing Lot expresses
well in his own person, when he flies from burning Sodom, and yet,
finding Zoar, does not still ascend the mountain heights. For to
fly from burning Sodom is to avoid the unlawful fires of the
flesh. But the height of the mountains is the purity of the
continent. Or, at any rate, they are as it were upon the
mountain, who, though cleaving to carnal intercourse, still, beyond the
due association for the production of offspring, are not loosely lost
in pleasure of the flesh. For to stand on the mountain is to seek
nothing in the flesh except the fruit of procreation. To stand on
the mountain is not to cleave to the flesh in a fleshly way. But,
since there are many who relinquish indeed the sins of the flesh, and
yet, when placed in the state of wedlock, do not observe solely the
claims of due intercourse, Lot went indeed out of Sodom, but yet did
not at once reach the mountain heights; because a damnable life is
already relinquished, but still the loftiness of conjugal continence is
not thoroughly attained. But there is midway the city of Zoar, to
save the weak fugitive; because, to wit, when the married have
intercourse with each other even incontinently, they still avoid lapse
into sin, and are still saved through mercy. For they find as it
were a little city, wherein to be protected from the fire; since this
married life is not indeed marvellous for virtue, but yet is secure
from punishment. Whence the same Lot says to the angel,
This
city is near to flee unto, and it is small, and I shall be saved
therein. Is it not a little one, and my soul shall live in it
(
Gen. xix.
20
)? So then it
is said to be near, and yet is spoken of as a refuge of safety, since
married life is neither far separated from the world, nor yet alien
from the joy of safety. But the married, in this course of
conduct, then preserve their lives as it were in a small city, when
they intercede for each other by continual supplications. Whence
it is also rightly said by the Angel to the same Lot,
See I have
accepted thy prayers concerning this thing also, that I will not
overthrow the city for the which thou hast spoken
(
v. 21
). For in truth, when
supplication is poured out to
God
, such
married life is by no means condemned. Concerning which
supplication Paul also admonishes, saying,
Defraud ye not one the
other except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves
to prayer
(
1 Cor.
vii. 5
).
But, on the other hand, those who are not bound by
wedlock are to be admonished that they observe heavenly precepts all
the more closely in that no yoke of carnal union bows them down to
worldly cares; that, as they are free from the lawful burden of
wedlock, the unlawful weight of earthly anxiety by no means press them
down; that the last day find them all the more prepared, as it finds
them less encumbered; lest from being free and able, and yet
neglecting, to do better things, they therefore be found deserving of
worse punishment. Let them hear how the
Apostle, when he would train certain
persons for the grace of celibacy, did not contemn wedlock, but guarded
against the worldly cares that are born of wedlock, saying,
This I
say for your profit, not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that
which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the
Lord
without hindrance
(
1 Cor. vii. 3, 5
). For from wedlock proceed
earthly anxieties; and therefore the teacher of the Gentiles persuaded
his bearers to better things, lest they should be bound by earthly
anxiety. The man, then, whom, being single, the hindrance of
secular cares impedes, though he has not subjected himself to wedlock,
has still not escaped the burdens of wedlock. The single are to
be admonished not to think that they can have intercourse with
disengaged women without incurring the judgment of condemnation.
For, when Paul inserted the vice of fornication among so many execrable
crimes, he indicated the guilt of it, saying,
Neither fornicators,
nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of
themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor extortioners, shall possess the kingdom of
God
(
1
Cor. vi. 9, 10
).
And again,
But fornicators and adulterers
God
will judge
(
Heb. xiii. 4
). They are therefore to be
admonished that, if they suffer from the storms of temptation with risk
to their safety, they should seek the port of wedlock. For it is
written,
It is better to marry than to burn
(
1 Cor. vii. 9
). They come, in fact, to
marriage without blame, if only they have not vowed better
things. For whosoever has proposed to himself the attainment of a
greater good has made unlawful the less good which before was
lawful. For it is written,
No man, having put his hand to the
plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of
God
(
Luke ix. 62
). He therefore who has been intent
on a more resolute purpose is convicted of looking back, if, leaving
the larger good, he reverts to the least.