Chapter XXVIII.
A question about the fact that a plentiful supply of
tears is not in our own power.
Germanus
: My own poor self
indeed is not altogether ignorant of this feeling of conviction. For
often when tears arise at the recollection of my faults, I have been by
the Lord’s visitation so refreshed by this ineffable joy which
you describe that the greatness of the joy has assured me that I ought
not to despair of their forgiveness. Than which state of mind I think
there is nothing more sublime if only it could be recalled at our own
will. For sometimes when I am desirous to stir myself up with all my
power to the same conviction and tears, and place before my eyes all my
faults and sins, I am unable to bring back that copiousness of tears,
and so my eyes are dry and hard like some hardest flint, so that not a
single tear trickles from them. And so in proportion as I congratulate
myself on that copiousness of tears, just so do I mourn that I cannot
bring it back again whenever I wish.