“For first, in comparison with gain and the spoiling of neighbours, All else is in their eyes superfluous.” “Is one of them little? She stitches cork into her shoe-sole. Is one tall? She wears a thin sole, And goes out keeping her head down on her shoulder: This takes away from her height. Has one no flanks? She has something sewed on to her, so that the spectators May exclaim on her fine shape behind. Has she a prominent stomach? By making additions, to render it straight, such as the nurses we see in the comic poets, She draws back, as it were, by these poles, the protuberance of the stomach in front. Has one yellow eyebrows? She stains them with soot. Do they happen to be black? She smears them with ceruse. Is one very white-skinned? She rouges. Has one any part of the body beautiful? She shows it bare. Has she beautiful teeth? She must needs laugh, That those present may see what a pretty mouth she has; But if not in the humour for laughing, she passes the day within, With a slender sprig of myrtle between her lips, Like what cooks have always at hand when they have goats’ heads to sell, So that she must keep them apart the whilst, whether she will or not.”