not money, nor splendor of family, nor greatness of country; all these things are superfluous;
but piety of soul, gentleness, the true understanding, the fear of God, if thou wishest thy
darling to live with pleasure. For if thou seek a wealthier husband, not only wilt thou not
benefit her, but thou wilt even harm her, by making her a slave instead of free. For the
pleasure she will reap from her golden trinkets will not be so great as will be the annoyance
that comes of her slavery. I pray thee, seek not these things, but most of all, one of equal
condition; if however this cannot be, rather one poorer than in better circumstances; if at
least thou be desirous not of selling thy daughter to a master, but of giving her to a husband.
When thou hast thoroughly investigated the virtue of the man, and art about to give her to
him, beseech Christ to be present: for He will not be ashamed to be so; it is the mystery of
His presence. Yea rather beseech Him even in the first instance, to grant her such a suitor.
Be not worse than the servant of Abraham, who, when sent on a pilgrimage so important,
saw whither he ought to have recourse; wherefore also he obtained everything. When thou
art taking anxious pains, and seeking a husband for her, pray; say unto God, “whomsoever
Thou wilt do Thou provide:” into His hands commit the matter; and He, honored in this
way by thee, will requite thee with honor.
Two things indeed it is necessary to do; to commit the thing into His hands, and to seek
such an orderly person as He Himself approves.
When927 then thou makest a marriage, go not round from house to house borrowing
mirrors and dresses; for the matter is not one of display, nor dost thou lead thy daughter to
a pageant; but decking out thine house with what is in it, invite thy neighbors, and friends,
and kindred. As many as thou knowest to be of a good character, those invite, and bid them
be content with what there is. Let no one from the orchestra be present, for such expense
is superfluous, and unbecoming. Before all the rest, invite Christ. Knowest thou whereby
thou wilt invite Him? Whosoever, saith He, “hath done it to one of these least, hath done it
to Me.” (Matt. xxv. 40.) And think it not an annoying thing to invite the poor for Christ’s
sake; to invite harlots is an annoyance. For to invite the poor is a means of wealth, the other
of ruin. Adorn the bride not with these ornaments that are made of gold, but with gentleness
and modesty, and the customary robes; in place of all golden ornament and braiding, arraying
her in blushes, and shamefacedness, and the not desiring such things. Let there be no uproar,
no confusion; let the bridegroom be called, let him receive the virgin. The dinners and
suppers, let them not be full of drunkenness, but of abundance and pleasure. See how many
good things will result, whenever we see such marriages as those; but from the marriages
that are now celebrated, (if at least one ought to call them marriages and not pageants,) how
many are the evils! The banquet hall is no sooner broken up, than straightway comes care
and fear, lest aught that is borrowed should have been lost, and there succeeds to the pleasure
927 Here he addresses the mother, all the participles being feminine.
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Colossians 4:12,13