add thereto any more, and pray on behalf of thy former deeds;”298 and again “a righteous
man is his own accuser in the first instance.”299 Let us not then tarry for the accuser, but
let us seize his place beforehand, and so let us make our judge more merciful by means of
our candour. Now I know indeed that you confess your sins, and call yourself miserable
above measure; but this is not the only thing I wish, but I long for you to be persuaded that
it can justify you. For as long as you make this confession unprofitable, even if you accuse
yourself, you will not be able to desist from the sins which follow it. For no one will be able
to do anything with zeal and the proper method, unless he has first of all persuaded himself
that he does it to advantage. For even the sower, after he has scattered his seed, unless he
expects the harvest, will never reap. For who would choose to fatigue himself in vain, if he
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was not to gain any good from his labor? So then he also who sows words, and tears, and
confession, unless he does this with a good hope, will not be able to desist from sinning,
being still held down by the evil of despair; but just as that husbandman who despairs of
any crop of fruit will not in future hinder any of those things which damage the seeds, so
also he who sows his confession with tears, but does not expect any advantage for this, will
not be able to overthrow those things which spoil repentance. And what does spoil repentance
is being again entangled in the same evils. “For there is one” we read, “who builds, and one
who pulls down, what have they gained more than toil? He who is dipped in water because
of contact with a dead body, and then touches it again, what has he gained by his washing?”300
Even so if a man fasts because of his sins, and goes his way again, and doeth the same things,
who will hearken to his prayer? And again we read “if a man goes back from righteousness
to sin the Lord will prepare him for the sword,”301 and, “as a dog when he has returned to
his vomit, and become odious, so is a fool who by his wickedness has returned to his sin.”302
19. Do not then merely set forth thy sins being thy own accuser, but as one who ought
to be justified by the method of repentance; for thus thou wilt be able to put thy soul, which
makes its confession, to shame, so that it falls no more into the same sins. For to accuse
ourselves vehemently and call ourselves sinners is common, so to say, to unbelievers also.
Many at least of those who belong to the stage, both men and women, who habitually
practise the greatest shamelessness, call themselves miserable, but not with the proper aim.
Wherefore I would not even call this confession; for the publication of their sins is not ac-
companied with compunction of soul, nor with bitter tears, nor with conversion of life, but
in fact some of them make it in quest of a reputation for the hearers for candor of speech.
298 Ecclus. xxi. 1.
299 Prov. xviii. 17; but a different meaning is given to the passage in our English Version [Revised].
300 Ecclus. xxxiv. 23, 25.
301 Ecclus. xxvi. 28.
302 Prov. xxvi. 11.
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Letter I