Chapter III.
How friendship is indissoluble.
Among
all these then there is
one kind of love which is indissoluble, where the union is owing not to
the favour of a recommendation, or some great kindness or gifts, or the
reason
of some bargain, or
the necessities of nature, but simply to similarity of virtue. This, I
say, is what is broken by no chances, what no interval of time or space
can sever or destroy, and what even death itself cannot part. This is
true and unbroken love which grows by means of the double perfection
and goodness of friends, and which, when once its bonds have been
entered, no difference of liking and no disturbing opposition of wishes
can sever. But we have known many set on this purpose, who though they
had been joined together in companionship out of their burning love for
Christ, yet could not maintain it continually and unbrokenly, because
although they relied on a good beginning for their friendship, yet they
did not with one and the same zeal maintain the purpose on which they
had entered, and so there was between them a sort of love only for a
while, for it was not maintained by the goodness of both alike, but by
the patience of the one party, and so although it is held to by the one
with unwearied heroism, yet it is sure to be broken by the pettiness of
the other. For the infirmities of those who are somewhat cold in
seeking the healthy condition of perfection, however patiently they may
be borne by the strong, are yet not put up with by those who are weaker
themselves. For they have implanted within them causes of disturbance
which do not allow them to be at ease, just as those, who are affected
by bodily weakness, generally impute the delicacy of their stomach and
weak health to the carelessness of their cooks and servants, and
however carefully their attendants may serve them, yet nevertheless
they ascribe the grounds of their upset to those who are in good
health, as they do not see that they are really due to the failure of
their own health. Wherefore this, as we said, is the sure and
indissoluble union of friendship, where the tie consists only in
likeness in goodness. For “the Lord maketh men to be of one mind
in an house.”
1966
And therefore
love can only continue undisturbed in those in whom there is but one
purpose and mind to will and to refuse the same things. And if you also
wish to keep this unbroken, you must be careful that having first got
rid of your faults, you mortify your own desires, and with united zeal
and purpose diligently fulfil that in which the prophet specially
delights: “Behold how good and joyful a thing it is for brethren
to dwell together in unity.”
1967
Which
should be taken of unity of spirit rather than of place. For it is of
no use for those who differ in character and purpose to be united in
one dwelling, nor is it an hindrance for those who are grounded on
equal goodness to be separated by distance of place. For with God the
union of character, not of place, joins brethren together in a common
dwelling, nor can unruffled peace ever be maintained where difference
of will appears.
1966
Ps. lxvii.
(lxviii.) 7
.
1967
Ps. cxxxii.
(cxxxiii.) 1
.