Chapter V.—I desire to die. From Syria even unto Rome I fight with beasts,370 both by land and sea, both by night and day, being bound to ten leopards, I mean a band of soldiers, who, even when they receive benefits,371 show themselves all the worse. But I am the more instructed by their injuries [to act as a disciple of Christ]; “yet am I not thereby justified.”372 May I enjoy the wild beasts that are prepared for me; and I pray they may be found eager to rush upon me, which also I will entice to devour me speedily, and not deal with me as with some, whom, out of fear, they have not touched. But if they be unwilling to assail me, I will compel them to do so. 76 Pardon me [in this]: I know what is for my benefit. Now I begin to be a disciple. And let no one, of things visible or invisible, envy373 me that I should attain to Jesus Christ. Let fire and the cross; let the crowds of wild beasts; let tearings,374 breakings, and dislocations of bones; let cutting off of members; let shatterings of the whole body; and let all the dreadful375 torments of the devil come upon me: only let me attain to Jesus Christ. From Syria even unto Rome I fight with beasts,376 both by land and sea, both by night and day, being bound to ten leopards, I mean a band of soldiers, who, even when they receive benefits,377 show themselves all the worse. But I am the more instructed by their injuries [to act as a disciple of Christ]; “yet am I not thereby justified.”378 May I enjoy the wild beasts that are prepared for me; and I pray that they may be found eager to rush upon me, which also I will entice to devour me speedily, and not deal with me as with some, whom, out of fear, they have not touched. But if they be unwilling to assail me, I will compel them to do so. Pardon me [in this] I know what is for my benefit. Now I begin to be a disciple, and have379 no desire after anything visible or invisible, that I may attain to Jesus Christ. Let fire and the cross; let the crowds of wild beasts; let breakings, tearings, and separations of bones; let cutting off of members; let bruising to pieces of the whole body; and let the very torment of the devil come upon me: only let me attain to Jesus Christ. 370 Comp. 1 Cor. xv. 32, where the word is also used figuratively. 371 Probably the soldiers received gifts from the Christians, to treat Ignatius with kindness. 372 1 Cor. iv. 4. 373 In the shorter recension there is ζηλώσῃ, and in the longer ζηλῶσαι; hence the variety of rendering, but the translation is by no means certain. 374 Some deem this and the following word spurious. 375 Literally, “evil.” 376 Comp. 1 Cor. xv. 32, where the word is also used figuratively. 377 Probably the soldiers received gifts from the Christians, to treat Ignatius with kindness. 378 1 Cor. iv. 4. 379 In the shorter recension there is ζηλώσῃ, and in the longer ζηλῶσαι; hence the variety of rendering, but the translation is by no means certain. Chapter V.—I desire to die. 203 Chapter V.—I desire to die.