For it was not an enemy that reproached me,.... An open and avowed one; a Moabite or a Philistine; such an one as Goliath, who cursed him by his gods; but one of his own country, city, court, and family, who pretended to be a friend; his son Absalom, according to Arama: so it was not one of the Scribes and Pharisees, the sworn enemies of Christ, who rejected him as the Messiah, and would not have him to reign over them, that reproached him, but one of his own apostles; then I could have borne it; reproach from an enemy is to be expected, and may be patiently endured; and, when it is for righteousness' sake, should be accounted an happiness, and rejoiced at; but the reproaches of one that has been thought to be a friend are very cutting, wounding, heartbreaking, and intolerable, Psa 69:7; the calumnies and reproaches of the Scribes and Pharisees were borne by Christ with great patience, and were answered with great calmness and mildness, Mat 11:19. Or, "I would have lifted up" (t); that is, my hand, and defended myself; I should have been upon my guard, ready to receive the blow, or to have put it off, or repelled it; neither was it he that hated me: openly, but secretly in his heart; that did magnify himself against me; made himself a great man, and set himself at the head of the conspiracy and opposition against him, and spoke great swelling words, in way of raillery and reproach; then I would have hid myself from him; as David did from Saul, when he became his enemy, Sa1 20:24; and as Christ from the Jews, Joh 8:59; but as for Judas, he knew the place he resorted to; and therefore easily found him, Joh 18:2; the sense may be, that he would have shunned his company, refused conversation with him; much less would he have admitted him to his privy councils, by which means he knew all his affairs, and there was no hiding and concealing things from him. (t)